Ten Things That Show Love:

1) Say it. With words.

2) Spell it out. On a cake, with skywriting, with a ransom note-style letter.

3) Do a chore they've been putting off.

4) Give a "Free Pass," to be used to get out of a chore of their choice.

5) Tell someone else what you appreciate about your loved one. And make sure they overhear you.

6) Tell your loved one what you appreciate about them.

7) Buy their favorite childhood candy bar. Anyone else remember U-No bars? Big Hunks? Sugar Babies?

8) Give a foot massage or a back rub.

9) If they usually plan the date night, you plan the next one. Book the babysitter and make the reservations.

10) At the end of a day, tell them you missed them.

The pressure's on.

Only four more days until February. Then only fourteen days until we are commanded to be romantic on cue.

How boring. How dull.

Now I admit, I buy into the hype. I feel slighted if I don't get something romantic or thoughtful on the 14th. It's a good reminder to put some words and actions to what I may have let go without saying.

But how much more fun is it to surprise your special someone with romance on an ordinary day? Or on the day he had a flat tire? Or when her computer crashed?

We all need some Tender Loving Care on other days besides February 14th.

I think I'll go check the fluid levels in my car so my husband doesn't have to.

I'm sure you can think of something thoughtful to do. So, go do it!

I saw a link the other day on MSN saying that that particular day, January 22nd, is the most depressing day of the year. I couldn't even get up enough energy to click the link.

A friend later told me the gist of the article is that January 22nd is considered by "experts" to be the worst day of the year for a variety of reasons.

The holiday bills have arrived and are due and payable.

The holiday weight gain is still on the hips.

New Year's Resolutions have been broken already.

Considering that it takes 3 weeks to establish a new habit, it's pretty obvious why January 22 is the day of acknowledging failure for resolutions.

I've been blah all week. I can't even get excited about American Idol.

But at least now I know why.

I had lunch with a girl friend the other day. We see each other every few months for lunch, and we pick up right where we left off, catching up on kids, work, relationships, and sharing our hearts.

I cried with Marty when her marriage ended a few years ago. She cried with me when a daughter had a high-risk pregnancy and we weren't sure what was going to happen.

I've learned about how to cope with betrayal and a divorce and single parenting by walking alongside Marty. I watched her focus on her kids and keeping their home together. I got to share her journey when the kids grew up a little and didn't want her help. Instead of whining or being stuck, Marty focused on herself. She spent time alone, reading, studying, praying, and healing. When she felt ready, she began dating.

And now I'm watching her fall in love.

I have daughters. I've seen infatuation. I've seen immature and selfish love.

I'm married. I know a richer love that bears all things and works all things out.

As I listened to Marty talk about her new man, I had to reflect on the differences. She's giddy yes, but not like a teenager. She sees clearly that there will be problems to work out.

But she's found someone who wants the same things she does: a stable relationship with God at the center. A healthy family. A place to come home to, knowing you're loved and anticipated. Someone whose voice lifts when they realize it's you on the other end of the phone.

I rejoiced with Marty that just when she was ready for a relationship, she has one. And I gave thanks for the husband I have. Who always loves me. Always supports me. And whose voice still brings a smile to my lips.

Four days since I last posted. In those 4 days I've:

a) Gone to the doctor and been treated for a sinus infection. I have antibiotics in me, hear me roar, see me clean!

b) Got Christmas and all holiday decorations down and put away. Mostly. When I was vacuuming today, I found the baby Jesus under the recliner. I blame the grand-daughter. And I have wrapping paper, bags, and bows still to put away. But it's baby steps, remember?

c) The house is (mostly) clean, and laundry is still caught up. The kitchen counters are clean.

d) I've written and submitted, reaching my professional goals last week.

All because... I wrote it down. I made a list. I put the ink on the paper. I made mental lists before, but they didn't give me the sense of accomplishment this written one does.

I'm hooked. I'm officially a list maker now.

By the way, I'm making a daily, weekly, and monthly list. On the weekly list: post 2x blog.

Whoo hoo!

Well, it's the 12th. My Christmas decorations are still up. I have a list of phone calls and e mails to make that's longer than Pinocchio's nose. I should feel like a failure. But wait a sec -

I'm posting twice in one week! My laundry is done! The outside Christmas lights are down and wound up! My kitchen floor is mopped! The slime is gone from the bottom of the shower door! All done while recovering from a cold and still feeling crummy.

I still have a ways to go, but I've been taking my own advice.

1) I made a list for every day and every week with what I want to accomplish. I'm on track to finish this week only a little teeny bit behind.

2) I made small and achievable goals. And I did them.

3) I made the lists and goals in order of priority, so the most important things are getting done first. For example, bathroom slime multiplies quickly and needed to be dealt with sooner than Christmas decorations that aren't going anywhere.

4) I didn't beat myself up over what I didn't get done. It'll still be there tomorrow. Or the next day.

Now, to get to the doctor as soon as this cold turns into a sinus infection. Which I can feel happening, but of course it's Friday and not far enough along to warrant antibiotics. I expect that magic moment at 5:02 P.M. So, I'll be suffering until Monday morning. But I'll have a clean shower door while I wait!

The ink is barely dry on the calendar and I'm already behind. How did that happen??

I had great intentions of starting the year disciplined. The house would be clean, my desk top visible, and my schedule manageable. It's the 8th and the house is a mess, there's a stack of paper teetering on the desk, and I have to be in three different places tomorrow. And I have a cold and feel crummy, so I'm sitting around watching things cave in on me.

What happened?

Good intentions are not the same as accomplishments. I need to tattoo that somewhere on my body. Meaning to isn't the same as doing.

Okay. I will give myself a break. I was out of town for New Year's. We got home on the 3rd. We brought our almost 2 year old grand-daughter home for a visit. Who can clean up Christmas clutter with a toddler in the house? Not me. Precious left on the 5th. I had commitments all day the 6th. And have been sick in bed ever since.

Goals: 1) Get better. Cancel appointments. Rest. 2)Working a little at a time, get decorations down and put away. 3) Clear off the desk top.

I'll keep you posted.